Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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