are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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