Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
