I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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