So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
