I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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