At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
