Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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