I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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