you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
