My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
