I just saw a hot homeless man
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Don't EVER smell your tampon
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
