I seem to have left my pride at pride
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
