Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
