go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
