There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
