Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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