I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
