Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
