Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
