my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
