I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
