"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
