My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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