Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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