i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
