i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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