Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
high people should be assigned attendants
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
