I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
