How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Can you bring me the toilet please
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
