im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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