so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
