had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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