I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize