Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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