She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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