her vagine was all disorganized.
one might say we're banned from that church
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You've changed since you got that strap on
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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