He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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