i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
