no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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