I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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