thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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