How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
