conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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