capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I look better un-naked...
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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