Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
