Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She needs sedatives and a leash
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
