You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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