He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
