i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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