Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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