don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
