We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
